Ask - The Smiths - Louder Than Bombs - 1986

So uh, where was I? Oh right...so we went down to the Trongate area to check out our lunch options...by this point it was around 330 in the afternoon, and our plan currently involved us having a steak dinner that evening as a result of a bet I won. It was then that we hit the wall of bad Scottish food.

Our options were twofold, have either another meal of fried and breaded food, or go to a "healthier" looking option and get a wrap. Now we may have all wanted the wrap, but none of us were going to make the call in front of the others...wraps are unmanly. So we all stood there looking at both restaurants and wondering what to do. Finally, they threw it back on me with the "It's your birthday, dude" excuse and I caved to cult of American masculinity and decided that we all needed more fish and chips.

While the food itself sucked, the experience was more than worthwhile. The place was a little dinner, staffed by an older man and woman (possibly a couple). When we arrived, we were the only customers, but that did not last. A crowd of about 7-8 or older Scots came rolling in. The senior most of them, everyone kept referring to as "Elvis". Aside of his wardrobe, he did not bear much PHYSICAL resemblance to Elvis, but he did seem to be dressing (and doing his hair) for the part. Through out dinner he continued to occasionally croon out the random Elvis tune, in between attempts to talk to us.

He tried to get Anand to let him travel back to America with him in his briefcase...on top of this being an odd request, Anand had no idea what he was saying in his thick Glaswegian accent. He just smiled politely and went back to eating his grilled cheese sandwich...which they had conveniently forgotten to put cheese on.

And speaking of crooners with a pompadour, we have The Smiths. When I was younger and more naive, it was easy to conceive of Morrissey as a misunderstood youth, too sensitive to the world...certainly not GAY, just someone with feelings, just someone who didn't fit the mold of the above mentioned cult of masculinity. But now that I'm older and it's pretty clear that Morrissey just is gay...and that elicits a complicated response.

First of all, there is the now obligatory Seinfeldian retort of "Not that there's anything wrong with that". And there isn't. I respect a human being's right to individuality, and firmly and vehemently believe that the sexual conduct of two consenting adults is no one's business but those adults. But we are talking about music here...and music, pop music in particular, is about being able to relate...and that's the tricky thing. I now look at a song like "Ask" and can clearly see the subtext...should that bother me? Perhaps not...but do I relate to it less? Almost certainly. It's a tricky question...