Awkward Duet - Sons & Daughters - Love the Cup - 2004

A surprisingly delicate cut from S&D, from back in the days when the guitar player used to sing too and pop sheen wasn't there foremost target. I saw these guys open up for Clinic at a CMJ show in 2003 and was thoroughly impressed with their girl/boy harmonies, ability to combine rockabilly instincts with dark noir undertones, and of course the completely unabashed Scottish accents that has since become a much more acceptable strategy (The Twilight Sad and Frightened Rabbits, I'm looking at you!).

So I went to go see Polvo in concert at The Belle House last night with some of my long time friends. The show was good, and it was nice to see 90's math rock getting it's due...but my concert experience was definitely shaded by a middle aged, totally sloshed Brit who insisted on wearing his narrow brim fedora through the whole show. Seriously dude, take off your fucking hat! Some of us would actually like to watch the show and not have our view constantly obstructed by your obnoxious affectation. I've never understood the need to display your personality through wardrobe. Why not display your personality through your words and actio...on second though, you're probably an asshole...just take the hat off during a concert so the rest of us can see the show, you limey douchebag.

The Apologist - R.E.M. - Up - 1998

So anyway, we watch this Girltalk show after giving up on being down in the elbow fest that was the ground floor we decided to head up to the much more sedate second floor. The show wraps up and we head for the coat check...which is also on the second floor, so we get a relatively decent place in line.

Now, it was a cold night, and Girltalk is the kind of show that chicks dance at...so most people had worn heavy coats and then checked them into the coat check. The problem was, people show up in trickles...but they all want to leave at the same time. The coat check line quickly decended into chaos, and our place in line was of little importance.

Finally after easily 20 minutes of waiting, we make it to the front of the line. My lady friend had suggested that we give all five coat tickets to one of her friends, as she could lead with her cleavage. Seeing the wisdom of this plan, I turned over the tickets. However, when she collected the coats, she turned to me and said "They lost Anne's coat..."

So, I make my way up to the front to check out the situation, and at this point my temper was on edge. I talk to the floppy haired douchebag behind the counter and he tells me that he needs a description. So I say "It's a small woman's pea coat".

"Dude, I don't know what the hell a peacoat is."

Okay...now maybe I could have been more polite at this point, but I really was in no mood for this shit, so I responded with "It's the same fucking black boxy coat with the big anchor buttons that every fucking chick in New York City wears in the winter!"

At this point, Anne's friends pulled me away from the window, figuring the cleavage would do more good than my incohate rage. So they call Anne to come to the front to help identify it, but the problem is there is a bouncer in between her and the coat check window. And this tiny little prick decides that the only thing he can do in his futile effort at crowd control is to stop my tiny 108 pound girlfriend from claiming her lost coat.

"Sorry ma'am you are just going to have wait until everyone else clears out, I can't let you go up there."

It was at this moment that I basically went bat shit. He was considerably smaller than me, younger than me, and in over his head...so I just went in with both feet and started going off on the dude. Phrases that left my mouth included:
"Look, she's my girlfriend and she wants to stand up here so she can help sort out this mess, what exact problem do you think she's going to cause?"
"What are you going to do, escort me from the building? Try it."
"We paid you to watch our coats, and you incompetant fucks couldn't even handle that job right...I want her coat and I want it now."
"It's a Sunday night, I have to work tomorrow, I want to go home and get some sleep, and now because you all screwed up, I have to wait till this clusterfuck clears up to claim my girlfriend's coat. That's bullshit"

The floppy haired douchebag came out at this point and opinied (sadly, correctly) "this guy is a total asshole"

Finally they got their manager to come out, who actually spoke to me like a reasonable person and allowed Anne to find her coat. He even thanked me for being reasonable at the end of the night.

I suppose I could make a connection to The Apologist by saying something about oweing the staff of Terminal 5's coat check an apology, but frankly fuck those guys hard with both fists.

The song itself, is another decent track from REM's last decent album. Not my favorite on the album, but they've made far worse.

Apocalypso - Mew - Mew and the Glass Handed Kites - 2005

So I went with my lady friend to see the Girltalk show at Terminal Five last weekend. I went in totally expecting to feel like the oldest person on the planet, and was not really disappointed on that front. But the night turned out to be a lot more eventful than merely me getting drunk and feeling like a codger. (It certainly helped that my lady friend and her mid-twenties friends were ALSO on the older side of the crowd).

We're at the show, and the girls all take their group trip to the bathroom, leaving me to hit the bar. I'm standing in the middle of the long bar, trying to get the bar tender's attention. I look behind me and realize there is a girl standing uncomfortably close to me on my left. I quickly turn back around, avoiding eye contact. On top of the fact that she was really not my type (willowy blonde) my girlfriend was also going to be back from the bathroom any second and this was really not the time for me to be making small talk with some sweet young thing.

But the lady is persistant and starts making conversation with me. Starting with the ubiquitous "Where are you from?" I could smell that something was up...she clearly wanted something other than some conversation from a tall dark stranger. So after a few awkward exchanges she finally cut to the chase. "See, I'd really like to get a vodka cranberry, but I have this problem with my wristband..."

Now, as I've stated here before, I don't really have a problem with underage drinking, but I was not about to get into this situation. Buying an underage (for drinking) girl a drink at an all ages show with my girlfriend seconds from returning was all kinds of trouble I was not looking to get in. So I politely decline and wish her luck. At which point she shakes my hand and says "Indiana breeds very moral people. I commend you"...

Now was she a Jump Street cop? Or just the most self possessed 19 year old ever? I have no clue...but it was definitely an odd begining to an even more odd night.

To be continued...

Oh, and this is Mew doing it's usual Scandanavian arena rock with indie rock charm bit. Totally fun, if not life changing.

Alphabet - The Notwist - The Devil, You, and Me - 2008

You ever been to a show, wherein the opening band was bad that they almost entirely eclipse your memory of the band you were actually there to see....as a fairly seasoned concert goer I've had this happen to me several times...enough so that I actually have a list of the WORST opening band experiences...at #3 on that list is a band that called themselves Themselves...they opened for The Notwist at Bowery Ballroom back on the Neon Golden tour and they were unbelievably bad.

Imagine a German version of Fishbone...and I really think that is all the description that you need.

Okay one more thing, their lead singer had blue dreads...blue dreads for christ sake!

Anyway, the only redeeming factor was that The Notwist was actually a much better live experience than I would have credited them for. Energetic and engagely experimental, and just German enough to be charming, but not enough to be off putting. Anyway, their new album is pretty good...if perhaps lacking the high points of Neon Golden.