Apple Bed - Sparklehorse - It's A Wonderful Life - 2001

So, it's been a good long while since I've had a proper rant at the MTA. Figure it's about time. Sure, sure I could go on and on about how their bad management means that we are going to have to deal with even more price increases and somehow LESS services next year...but enough has been said about the economy, that I can only be so mad at the MTA for being a part of it.

No, I'm going to bitch about how long it took me to get to and from Astoria this weekend. Now for those of you who don't know...this is a relatively lengthy trip from Brooklyn to Queens even during the best of times. Since the majority of trains are designed to route people from the outer borroughs to and from Manhattan, getting from one outer borrough to the other usually requires some work. The trip should probably take slightly less than an hour.

But this weekend the MTA decided to do a ton of construction (on the weekend before Thanksgiving?!?!) So the trip actually involved taking 4 trains and nearly an hour and 45 minutes. Q to Union Square, N to TImes square (Yes, I know I could have stayed on the Q...but I didn't know the N was terminating in Times Square)...the fucking ancient 7 train to another section of the N that was running just between Queensboro plaza and Astoria. On top of this, it was also the first bitterly cold weekend of this late fall...which meant standing on the above ground platforms in Queens (right next to the east river) was both painful and tedious.

Seriously...are the MTA just bound and determined to make our lives miserable?

Anyway, this is Sparklehorse from the album where all the songs are about post modern cowboys. I like this album when it's upbeat and like it less when it's in it's sort of vicodan coma that Mark Linkous loves so much. This is a slower song, but it's one of the ones I like better. That's about it.

Anodyne - Uncle Tupelo - Anodyne - 1993

I had to get up early this AM to make it in to work and prepare for a big meeting I was running for the first time, and it reminded me of a theory I've long had about the correlation between time and the amount of attractive women there are on the subway...(okay, I'm going back on the promise I made to my girlfriend about not writing about hot chicks ont the subway, but I'm letting myself slide on this one as I am not talking about a SPECIFIC hot chick on the subway, but rather hot chicks, or their scarcity, as a phenomenon). Basically the theory goes like this...despite all of our best intentions and desires for us to live in a better and egalatarian world, in New York, where absolutely everything is a competition, attractive women have first dibs on the jobs that start at 10AM. Granted, in many cases, these are lower paying publishing or media jobs...but none of this changes the fact that you will find almost no attractive women on the subway at 8AM. You will find a fair amount of large middle-aged women, and power-suited men...hot chicks, not so much.

No for those that wonder why I spend all this time thinking about this on my commute, instead of, you know...thinking about my job, praying/meditating, reading the great american (or otherwise) novel, sculpting...what have you. It's because, frankly, we all need inspiration to make it through the hellish and tedious slog we call life. And we all find inspiration in our own places.

Jay Farrar may have only had a brief window of inspiration: three or four years tops, but this song falls squarely in the middle of that window. So here's to you Jay, and a word of advice to you. Never ride the subway before 8:45.

Anna Lee (Dressed In New Lightning) - Grey Revell - Crazy Like An Ambush - 1999

So my crazy subway preacher was back yesterday. I see him about once or twice a month...but yesterday was the first time he'd ever directly addressed me. I had my headphones on and was walking towards the back of the train before I realized that he was pacing and preaching. I quickly backed into a doorway, audibly saying "Oh Boy" as I did. This clearly drew his ire. And for the rest of his ride I became his example of "white people".

I felt like pointing out that I work for an African-American owned company, that my boss is a black man, that my roommate is a black man, and that this hardly makes me a good example of "The Man"...but I have enough crazy preachers in my family to know that you just don't engage them.

One woman on the train that got on at Borough Hall, during his rant about judges and lawyers, decided to engage him...this was a mistake. She tried the "I agree with you, but do we have to do this now" tactic...which was a mistake, but at least got him off my case.

Anyway, this song is nice enough...but the guitar bit sounds a lot like Mirah's "Archepeligo". And I don't know, the dude with an acoustic guitar thing only goes so far.

And You Lied To Me - The Besnard Lakes - The Besnard Lakes Are The Dark Horse - 2007

I saw something one of the oddest things I've ever encountered on the subway this AM. I had stayed out later than I meant to last night, and then one of my friends had "forced" a shot of Wild Turkey on me, so my morning commute was a little rough. But between Bergen and Atlantic Aves I saw an mid-forties African-American man walking down the aisle towards the front of the train. He was a bit short, but very stocky. And he was wearing a Met's baseball cap and a brown plaid shirt...so from the waist up, nothing out of the ordinary...however...the plaid shirt was then tucked into a full red plaid kilt and hose set. For a second I wondered if I might be still drunk or something, because none of the other passengers were reacting. I know all about NYC cool...but seriously people, if you are not going to react to this, what are you going to react to?

I have mixed feelings about The Besnard Lakes. Their boy-girl harmonies are occasionally a bit Mama's and the Papa's for me, and they seem to have a completely un-ironic song about how cool the corner of Bedford and Grand is...but they are very good at creating menacing, ominous soundscapes, and this song is a great example of that. It's haunting guitars and fat chord keyboards combine wonderfully with the lyrics to create the sort of crushing feeling of being betrayed by someone you thought you could trust.

Ambition - Doves - Some Cities - 2005

I saw a truly great chick fight on the subway the other day. I was taking the Q home from work, and had my iPod head phones in. The train was typically crowded for a Brooklyn Bound at 6 o'clock, but not obnoxiously so. It took me a moment for it to sink in, but I became aware that there was a lot of yelling, and that everyone around me was listening in.

It seemed that two women sharing one of the scoop seat, forward facing benches were in a fight about the degree to which the window seat woman was spreading her legs. What was sort of ironic about this is that the aisle seat woman was fairly obesse, making her complaint about lack of space somewhat ridiculous. Also, both women were West Indian, so the level and complexity of the profanity was truly amazing. It never actually came to blows, but it also didn't stop until one of them got off at Atlantic Ave. I was also sort of surprised that in fight with that much ferocity, that the larger woman never used the obvious insult when complaining about a woman spreading her legs too much.

A few people even jumped in, some begging for peace and quiet, others telling the window seat woman to just ignore her, but the battle raged on, scaling the heights of visciousness. Had they been men, blows would have almost certainly been exchanged....but really, what is the ultimate lesson to be learned here? The MTA should do away with the scooped seats. They were clearly designed in the 1970's when people's assess were much smaller. As a broad shouldered guy, the scooped seat is the bane of my existence...people always want to try to squeze in...and why shouldn't there...the scooped seat indicates that there should be room for a third person on that bench. But please believe me, there is not. This is why I usually just stand on the subway.

Anyway, here's Doves doing their thing...not nearly as interesting as Radiohead, but nowhere near as bland as Coldplay. Ambition makes you look pretty ugly...

Alphabet Pony - The Kills - Midnight Boom - 2008

For a period between March 17th 2003 to February 20th 2004 I worked a job that required me to take a 1 hour and 40 minute commute each way. Specifically I had to take the G train about 10 minutes, then the E train for about 40 minutes to the outer edges of Queens. I then had to ride a bus for about another 40 minutes into Long Island proper, and then finally I had to walk about a mile and a half from the bus stop to the industrial park where the company I was working at was located. On the plus side, it was, at the time, the most money I'd ever made....still that didn't make the commute any more tolerable, particularly given my feelings on the MTA.

For the first 9 months of this job I did not have an iPod...just an old faithful CD player. During this period I got moderately into The Kills first album. I bought the CD for two reasons, first of all I'm a sucker for an angry, dark-haired, rocker girl and secondly, I generally like bluesy british riff rock. I liked the album well enough, but it never really stuck with me.

Recently while cruising the indie rock bulliten board I saw that they had released a third album (I missed the second one) and was not surprised to discover that the third album sounds pretty much like their first one. Nice enough, but nothing too exciting.

And for those that are curious, I remember those exact dates because I started the job on St. Patrick's day (The Iraq War would start on Friday of that week) and finished the Friday before my birthday.

All We Have - Brazilian Girls - Brazilian Girls - 2005

So, since I ripped apart the MTA a few posts ago, I should probably sing it's praises for a thing or two. I had that moment this morning, on my way into work, were I realized that there were an absurd number of hot chicks on my subway car. This was the car that, should it be the only thing to survive an apocalyptic event, you'd be perfectly happy to assist in repopulating the species.

Anyway, this is more of Brazilian Girls and their weird German mime sex.

All Those Expectations - Peter, Bjorn, and John - Falling Out - 2005

Speaking of expectations...I nearly wrote this blog post last night, in which case you would have gotten a lengthy screed involving me giving a viking blood eagle to the children of the head of the MTA. I would have summoned dark gods to devour his soul and the furies to chase him through all eternity, but my lady friend came over and calmed me down. Now I'll settle for forcing him to watch endless episodes of Mama's Family and eating nothing but brussel sprouts and matza.

Anyway, after a single drink (no really, just one) with my co-workers I headed to the Q train...at 742 on a Monday evening...hardly late...the sun was still out for christ sake! I waited on the platform for a Q train for 45 minutes, before I finally went and berated the poor attendant in the booth. She called Dekalb Station, who told her to call City Hall, who then sent her back to Dekalb Station. Apparently, no one had any clue where the Q trains were. She then informed me that the heat was causing mechanical problems on several lines.

Two things:

A - How the fuck do you lose an entire train line? The Q isn't even that long, sure it goes out to Brighton Beach, but it stops at 57th St...where did all those trains go on a Monday evening?

B - HEAT!!!!????!!?!?!?!?!? That's your fucking excuse!?! Heat? Really? Word? That's what you got? 102 years of MTA service and you fucktards haven't figured out how to make your shit work on a hot day?

Honestly, despite my grumpy demeanor, I'm a pretty laid back guy, BUT, and this is a Michael Moore sized but, nothing infuriates me more than the incompetence of the MTA. The steal my life, a little bit at a time...and I can be as angry as I want to be about it and it will not affect them in the slightest. The fact that I eventually stormed out and took a cab in no way impacted the MTA...they can continue to be awful with no regard to their customers. Makes me go batshit feral.

Anyway, this PB&J being mellow, which I like far less than PB&J when they rock.

All Night Home - Sparklehorse - Good Morning, Spider -1998

Wow, so after an ill advised bender with my co-workers, I was dragging my ass into work this morning (worst part about an office drink up, if you call in sick the next day, everyone will know why) on the subway. At my second stop, an entire class of 4th grade girls got on the subway car. Now, needless to say this did not do my head any good...I realize that this makes me a terrible old crumudgeon, but I desperately wanted to tell all of these kids to "shut the fuck up". I mean seriously, couldn't they have waited until after peoples morning commutes to take whatever assinine field trip they were going on? In the mornings, most of us working slobs want as close to a quiet peaceful trip on the train, and the last thing we want is 30 chatty cathy's ruining my perfectly good hangover.

So this is Sparklehorse doing their usual "old-timey sounding song, fucked with in the studio" trick. Not bad, but they have better.

Acuff-Rose - Uncle Tupelo - Anodyne - 1993

I had an absolutely batshit crazy subway preacher on the 2 train this A.M. It's been a while since I've seen one of these guys. Must be a reflection of the hard times we've fallen on...or something. This one was of the radical African-American sort, "whitey is the devil" and all. And you know, as I was being harangued through my hangover by this gentleman...I couldn't help thinking...I agree. Our monolithic Western Culture has really created a lot of victims in its quest for control...but on the flip side...'the fuck you want me to do about it? I'm just trying to get through the day, pay the rent, and find a nice lady that wants to pass out with me. I'm just one man, sir.

Anyway, there's a certain amount of gospel, to Jay Farrar's finger picking here. Figured the subway preacher was a good enough segue for that. Jeff Tweedy has definitely made some steps in the direction of being insufferable "dad rock" to quote Pitchfork's phrase, but back in the day he could still pen a catchy tune, and still had enough of his broken hearted humor in tact to be charming. Quality song.

Above You - Whitest Boy Alive - Dreams - 2006

I've always said that when I finally lose my grip, and go apeshit, it will not be at my job, with my friends, or in a Russian bathhouse...it will be on the subway. The subway, is in many ways, a capricious lover...it is my morning commute and my night time designated driver...but it also fills me with rage. Today's example: The fight over a seat. I generally stand on the subway, I don't see the need to fight over a little piece of bench, just so I can sit down. Particularly, since I'm on my way to a job where I'm going to sit for 8 freaking hours anyway. But invariably there is always someone...and at the risk of inciting feminine wrath, this someone is almost always a middle aged woman...who will happily squeeze into a tiny sliver of open bench, causing everyone else in the aisle to be scrunched and uncomfortable. Seriously, people...I'm the first one to give up my seat to the elderly, infirm and pregnant..but if your fifty year old fat ass can't handle standing up for 20 minutes before you sit all day behind that HR Generalist's desk...maybe NYC is not the place for you.

Anyway...I downloaded this cause it's one of the dudes from The Kings of Convenience...in theory it was supposed to be his rocky side project, but really it just seems to be the same stuff only plugged in. Quiet is the New Loud is really all you need from these guys.