The Apple Tree - Peter and the Wolf - Lightness - 2006

Popular music (along with any art, commerce, politics, etc, etc) seems to be in a constant struggle between it's more conservative elements and the promises of a new and technological society. The argument is at least as old as the furor around "Dylan goes electric", and probably reached it's apotheosis during the grunge heyday when Vedder and Cobain (backed by Grampa Neil Young) were shouting from the roof tops that drum machines and studio trickery were soulless and not worthy of being called rock music.

It seems like the current version of this debate takes place between the increasingly collage and sample based electronica that has become more and more a staple of the Pitchfork scene, and this...it's almost diametrical opposite. If Grunge longed for the analog world of late 60's early, 70's metal...this stuff seems to pine for the days before amplification was even invented. A sort of O'Brother Where Art Thou chic. Of course the argument could easily be pushed back even further to state that the music is being "polluted" by the technology of recording. The only truly pure music would be entirely acoustic and performed live...like in the good old days. Hell, maybe we should push back and say musical instruments are themselves a corruption...nothing but acapella music. Viva Bobby McPharin!

But on the flip side, it's really hard to get a madrigal choir to fit in your ear buds...and trust me, I've tried.

Apple Orchard - Beach House - Beach House - 2006

And speaking of Vicodin comas...

Apple Bed - Sparklehorse - It's A Wonderful Life - 2001

So, it's been a good long while since I've had a proper rant at the MTA. Figure it's about time. Sure, sure I could go on and on about how their bad management means that we are going to have to deal with even more price increases and somehow LESS services next year...but enough has been said about the economy, that I can only be so mad at the MTA for being a part of it.

No, I'm going to bitch about how long it took me to get to and from Astoria this weekend. Now for those of you who don't know...this is a relatively lengthy trip from Brooklyn to Queens even during the best of times. Since the majority of trains are designed to route people from the outer borroughs to and from Manhattan, getting from one outer borrough to the other usually requires some work. The trip should probably take slightly less than an hour.

But this weekend the MTA decided to do a ton of construction (on the weekend before Thanksgiving?!?!) So the trip actually involved taking 4 trains and nearly an hour and 45 minutes. Q to Union Square, N to TImes square (Yes, I know I could have stayed on the Q...but I didn't know the N was terminating in Times Square)...the fucking ancient 7 train to another section of the N that was running just between Queensboro plaza and Astoria. On top of this, it was also the first bitterly cold weekend of this late fall...which meant standing on the above ground platforms in Queens (right next to the east river) was both painful and tedious.

Seriously...are the MTA just bound and determined to make our lives miserable?

Anyway, this is Sparklehorse from the album where all the songs are about post modern cowboys. I like this album when it's upbeat and like it less when it's in it's sort of vicodan coma that Mark Linkous loves so much. This is a slower song, but it's one of the ones I like better. That's about it.

Appeasement - J.L. Weill - Tales from the Cold War - 2007

So I went out drinking with my coworkers last night for a couple of birthdays we had last week. After a while I broke out one of my favorite party tricks which is to find the person least likely to turn down a free drink and offer to buy them the most disgusting drink on the menu.

In this case, at The Soho Room, the drink was The Bubbletini...sadly, the drink did not involve Tapioca balls...which I was hoping it would, as this would vastly increase the fun of making the poor guy drink this concoction...but sadly it was just Pomegranite Infused Vodka, Orange Juice, and some other fruity liquer. Which basically raises the question...why call this the Bubbletini? There's nothing bubbly about it.

Additionally, the evening was made more entertaining by the fact that some new rum was having a promotion and we were basically teh only customers in the bar. The shot girls told us that they were not allowed to hand out more than one shot per person, but that they could leave trays of shots on the bar, and if we happened to come up and take them...so be it...

So there were a lot of fruity rum shots in my evening.

Anyway, this is a song by one of my closest friends, (and occasional blog commentator) so I don't know that I can be objective about it. He and his wife Torie sing very well together and the arrangement is really quite good and adds to the melencholy atmosphere that he's aiming to create. I give Josh a hard time that he doesn't "rock" enough for my taste...but I've always respected his ability to write a good melody, and this song is no exception.

Apology Song - The Decemberists - 5 Songs EP - 2003

And speaking of obnoxiously literate people...I generally find the 5 Songs EP (on which this is the 6th song) to be the least annoying of The Decemberists' albums, but this is the most annoying song on it...though there are some moments of great comedy on it. Essientially, the apology in question is regarding a bicycle that the narrator was asked to watch while it's owner was in England. While in his care the bicycle was stolen.

The humor comes mostly (well other than the subject as a whole) from Meloy's attempt to imagine the fate of the bicycle ("I bet it's at the bottom of some French town's pond, rudely abused as some Hesher's joyride")...but the problem with this, along with most funny songs is, once the humor has worn off...you are left with a goofy obnoxious song.

Apology - The Posies - Dear 23 - 1990

Okay, one thing I definitely need to remember...just cause my gym gets a hold of some new exercise equipment does not mean that I need to try it out. I looked at all the shiny new back exercise machines and thought "Yeah, I could strengthen my back...maybe that'd help my posture..."

Now my back is a solid cape of sore muscles...not pleasant at all.

Anyway, here is another obnoxiously literate song from the Posies first real album. Words and phrases featured in this song: Disenchantment, Running Rampant, If it Illustrates the Nonesuch Nomenclature, "And The Stones Will Weep, in a Modest Fashion, but Don't Expect Too Much You Might be Disappointed."

With a vocabulary like that and a need to show it off, no wonder everyone hated me as an 18 year old.

This song is also an unfortunate example of a song whose verses are better than it's chorus...the chorus becomes something of a let down. But still The Posies sharp harmonies and Beatlesque melodies make the song at least somewhat worthwhile.

The Apologist - R.E.M. - Up - 1998

So anyway, we watch this Girltalk show after giving up on being down in the elbow fest that was the ground floor we decided to head up to the much more sedate second floor. The show wraps up and we head for the coat check...which is also on the second floor, so we get a relatively decent place in line.

Now, it was a cold night, and Girltalk is the kind of show that chicks dance at...so most people had worn heavy coats and then checked them into the coat check. The problem was, people show up in trickles...but they all want to leave at the same time. The coat check line quickly decended into chaos, and our place in line was of little importance.

Finally after easily 20 minutes of waiting, we make it to the front of the line. My lady friend had suggested that we give all five coat tickets to one of her friends, as she could lead with her cleavage. Seeing the wisdom of this plan, I turned over the tickets. However, when she collected the coats, she turned to me and said "They lost Anne's coat..."

So, I make my way up to the front to check out the situation, and at this point my temper was on edge. I talk to the floppy haired douchebag behind the counter and he tells me that he needs a description. So I say "It's a small woman's pea coat".

"Dude, I don't know what the hell a peacoat is."

Okay...now maybe I could have been more polite at this point, but I really was in no mood for this shit, so I responded with "It's the same fucking black boxy coat with the big anchor buttons that every fucking chick in New York City wears in the winter!"

At this point, Anne's friends pulled me away from the window, figuring the cleavage would do more good than my incohate rage. So they call Anne to come to the front to help identify it, but the problem is there is a bouncer in between her and the coat check window. And this tiny little prick decides that the only thing he can do in his futile effort at crowd control is to stop my tiny 108 pound girlfriend from claiming her lost coat.

"Sorry ma'am you are just going to have wait until everyone else clears out, I can't let you go up there."

It was at this moment that I basically went bat shit. He was considerably smaller than me, younger than me, and in over his head...so I just went in with both feet and started going off on the dude. Phrases that left my mouth included:
"Look, she's my girlfriend and she wants to stand up here so she can help sort out this mess, what exact problem do you think she's going to cause?"
"What are you going to do, escort me from the building? Try it."
"We paid you to watch our coats, and you incompetant fucks couldn't even handle that job right...I want her coat and I want it now."
"It's a Sunday night, I have to work tomorrow, I want to go home and get some sleep, and now because you all screwed up, I have to wait till this clusterfuck clears up to claim my girlfriend's coat. That's bullshit"

The floppy haired douchebag came out at this point and opinied (sadly, correctly) "this guy is a total asshole"

Finally they got their manager to come out, who actually spoke to me like a reasonable person and allowed Anne to find her coat. He even thanked me for being reasonable at the end of the night.

I suppose I could make a connection to The Apologist by saying something about oweing the staff of Terminal 5's coat check an apology, but frankly fuck those guys hard with both fists.

The song itself, is another decent track from REM's last decent album. Not my favorite on the album, but they've made far worse.

Apocalypso - Mew - Mew and the Glass Handed Kites - 2005

So I went with my lady friend to see the Girltalk show at Terminal Five last weekend. I went in totally expecting to feel like the oldest person on the planet, and was not really disappointed on that front. But the night turned out to be a lot more eventful than merely me getting drunk and feeling like a codger. (It certainly helped that my lady friend and her mid-twenties friends were ALSO on the older side of the crowd).

We're at the show, and the girls all take their group trip to the bathroom, leaving me to hit the bar. I'm standing in the middle of the long bar, trying to get the bar tender's attention. I look behind me and realize there is a girl standing uncomfortably close to me on my left. I quickly turn back around, avoiding eye contact. On top of the fact that she was really not my type (willowy blonde) my girlfriend was also going to be back from the bathroom any second and this was really not the time for me to be making small talk with some sweet young thing.

But the lady is persistant and starts making conversation with me. Starting with the ubiquitous "Where are you from?" I could smell that something was up...she clearly wanted something other than some conversation from a tall dark stranger. So after a few awkward exchanges she finally cut to the chase. "See, I'd really like to get a vodka cranberry, but I have this problem with my wristband..."

Now, as I've stated here before, I don't really have a problem with underage drinking, but I was not about to get into this situation. Buying an underage (for drinking) girl a drink at an all ages show with my girlfriend seconds from returning was all kinds of trouble I was not looking to get in. So I politely decline and wish her luck. At which point she shakes my hand and says "Indiana breeds very moral people. I commend you"...

Now was she a Jump Street cop? Or just the most self possessed 19 year old ever? I have no clue...but it was definitely an odd begining to an even more odd night.

To be continued...

Oh, and this is Mew doing it's usual Scandanavian arena rock with indie rock charm bit. Totally fun, if not life changing.

Apartment Story - The National - Boxer - 2007

Despite my vote for Boxer as the best album of 2007, The National remain a band that I wish were better. The problem is, songs like this prove they are capable of being more than a maudlin band full of existiental urban angst...songs like this prove they can actually rock and still keep their philosophical bent.

I will need a little more time before I decide if this song is really worthy of being called perfect, but...between the hypnotic, all snare, drumming, the churning bassline, the haunting organ, and the restrained, buzz-saw guitars, the song manages to mix whimsy and dread in equal parts, while Matt Beringer's lyrics tell a tale that could be about a couple riding out a blizzard trapped in their apartment, or perhaps it's the apocalypse, who can say?

Not to try and be the "I was with this band way back then" guy...but honestly, the parrallels between this band and me are rather noteworthy and lead to me getting into them around the time of their first album. Like me Beringer is from relatively small town Indiana, came to Cincinnati to try to do things better...found that place woefully inadequate and came to New York during the dotcom boom. Now they, like me, call Brooklyn their home. Honestly, I love this band...I just wish their gloomy world view wasn't always so mirred in lethargic rhythms.

Anytown Graffiti - Pela - Anytown Graffiti - 2007

Every once in a while my REALLY nerdy side rears its ugly head and I'll watch a really bad sword and sandalls kind of movie. And I have to say, I watched an atrotiously bad one earlier this week that reminded me of what a broad spectrum of nerds there are in this world.

Keep in mind the Venn diagram of nerddom that was required to produce a film specifically geared towards the intersection of fans of the Roman Empire, specifically Britain during the Roman occupation and the attempts to find some historicity in the Arthurian Legend during this period. Throw in an absurdly large laddle fall of rabid anglophilia, Ben Kingsley as a proto-Merlin with an absolutely hack Welsh accent, Colin Firth looking in no way embarrassed, a hot indian chick inexplicably kicking everone's ass, and some of those great moments where a telling line of dialouge is followed by a pregnant pause so that the brain dead audience can get the inference (for instance, Colin Firth lays dying on a battle field and the 10 year old exiled emperor of Rome approaches him to tell him he fought "like a dragon", Colin Firth then says "And you fought like the son of a dragon"...que pregnant pause so that the audience, who is nerdy enough to know that Pendragon means "Son of the Dragon" can absorb the fact that he has just been christened and will one day be Arthur's father...just first rate shit).

Anyway, it was a really bad movie...and there are probably people who loved it.

Much like this song...actually this song isn't that bad, it's just kind of bland...and there are probably people that love it.

Anything You Want - Spoon - Girls Can Tell - 2000

Ok, so I have a category for perfect songs, and I can hardly think of a better entry for it than this little gem from Spoon. At a spry 2:17 it is unbelievably short, but still seems to pack the same punch as a longer song all the while managing to be both remarkably laid back and heartbreakingly romantic.

In terms of sound, this song prefigures the musical choices that would become more quintessentially Spoon on later albums, primarily in the use of sonic vacuums to suggest the space in which other instruments would later appear. Take the piano riff that serves as the songs primary bass line (There is a bass part, but it's pretty innocuous). The first measure is played at regular volume whereas the second measure is played in hushed and subdued manner...once you are somewhat familiar with the song this space in the second measure is identifiable as the place in which the guitar will appear in the second pass through. Spoon want you to see how their songs are put together, so they show you the place in between the instruments.

Beyond that...the lyrics are...that wonderful mix of nonchalant and lovelorn. Somehow, the line "I'll be in the back room drinking my half of the beer" ends up sounding like the sexiest come on line ever, and the amazing one-breath delivery of "You know you're the one and that that hasn't changed since you were 19 and still in school waiting on the light at the corner by Sound Exchange" becomes a pledge of eternal devotion.

Like I said, perfect song.

Anything You Want - Britt Daniel - Solo Acoustic at WNYU - 2001

Here's Britt doing a solo acoustic version of one of the sweetest (in the real sense of the word) songs ever. I'll talk more about it when I talk about the album version.

Anything Goes - Guns N Roses - Appetite for Destruction - 1987

I remember the tempest in a tea cup that followed GnR's initial success was largely focused on this song (before One In A Million two years later would overshadow it). In hindsite, the line "your panties round your knees and your ass in debris" does seem slightly misogynistic...but the barrage of raunch that we've seen in the...gulp...21 years since this album, has almost made that line seem quant and romantic.

Either way, this was never my favorite song off AFD...kinda monotonous and not that interesting. I'll take Rocket Queen any day of the week.

Any Place Is Paradise - Elvis Presley - Elvis - 1956

People tend to think there are only two Elvis'...young rock-a-billy Elvis in his black leather coat, and old Vegas Elvis in his white sequined jump suit...but in reality Elvis contained multitudes. There was Country Elvis, Gospel Elvis, Soul Elvis, Beach Elvis, Army Elvis, Gay Elvis, Asian Elvis (okay, I'm making shit up)...but most striking of all, to me, is there was the Elvis who was not drastically different (in the music he made) than Dean Martin...it's so strange, with the benefit of hindsite, to see how little difference there was between the early rock and roll that parents got so upset about, and the very music that they were listening too.

Anyway, not a bad song.