And The Cradle Will Rock - Van Halen - Women and Children First - 1980

Ok, so I mentioned the wait in line for the ID in order to drink...but I didn't even get to the biggest indignity of the day. The beer pens.

So, after you waited your 45 minutes for a beer...you had to stay in an enclosed area about 25 feet by 15 feet in the grass. You could not take your beer out to the show. You were also limited to 5 beers and they stopped serving at 830. To enforce this they had a ridiculous system...a purple x was drawn on your left hand in permanent marker. Then you were given a plastic wrist band with 5 plastic pull tabs. Each time you bought a drink a tab was pulled from the bracelet.

Basically, this sets off all of my alarm bells at once. First of all, there's the simple practical matter of having to sit in a confined pen to drink my beer, when I'm at an outdoor festival. Second of all, there is the moral principle of the thing. This is clearly designed to try to curb underage drinking...and nothing infuriates me more than things done for "the protection of the children". The world exists for adults...children should be toughened up for the world not protected from it, and adults should not be made to curtail their lives for the sake of the children. Beyond that, we are kidding ourselves if we think silly activities like this are actually going to curb underage drinking...and we are sucking all the fun out of childhood too. What the hell else are you supposed to do when you are 16 at an outdoor concert in August, you are going to sneak beer...that's what you do! And finally, kids these days don't even drink that much...they just steal the prescription drugs out of your medicine cabinets and snort them. The attitude that kids were pure and innocent and only corrupted by our society is one of the reasons I had to get the fuck out of the midwest...and to have it occur here in NYC (ok, Jersey, but barely) really infuriates me.

I'll give you a for instance of the kind thing that sets me off. I'm sitting in the beer pen drinking a couple beers and I bum one of Anand's cigarettes. Sitting next to us is a woman in her mid-late twenties reading a book. She immediately starts covering her nose and exaggerating a cough. Seriously! First of all, honey, go do your fucking homework somewhere besides the beer pen. Second of all, it's THE BEER PEN...it's bad enough I have to be locked in here drinking, you could at least not take up space READING. And third of all, when you are in the only place in the park where you can legally do anything even slightly unsavory...maybe you can cut me some slack on having a cigarette. Ugggghhhhh.

You know who'd really hate the beer pen policy? David Lee Roth, that's who. The Cradle Will Rock indeed, Diamond Dave. Rock on!